So really

Can you believe I found my pin drive. Yep, found it at home. That makes me feel really bad. I am feeling bad on several fronts. Life has a way of kicking you in the butt at times. I guess this is my time for a little but kicking. Well, that is my story for tonight. Peace

Thoughts on the run

Sitting here today realizing that I lost my pin drive last week. I believe I may have left it in my room here in the school at a teachers desk. I asked the teacher if I left it, they said they do not remember seeing it, however someone else who works in the room remembers something about it. So now what to do. Bottom line I lost it, and possibly someone else found it. Finders keepers right? I am bummed out that I lost it, it had photos, info, addresses, all my s bool saved files. I am so bummed out. How do you feel when you lose stuff? I get physically sick when I lose something that I value. I do not have many things that I value- my pens, my camera and photos, my writing, and now my portable pin drive. I will look my house over again, but I think it may be gone . . . Now on to the truth that I believe stuff, clutter kills. I am bummed out wiu the clutter in my life. My office is full of junk and i want to clean it and purge the trash.
I have two more days and i will finish my 365 project. This past month has been the most difficult. I am not very creative, I love balloons, but I tried to use many things during the year. It is cool to look at my year in photos. I have been blessed beyond belief and I am thankful. I will blog again soon:

Several years ago . . .

I began to blog in this very room.  I am in the Graphic Arts room at Novi High School.  The Internet is not blocked for a moment.  It was here that I learned to blog.  I like to blog, but I have been away for some time.  I can not believe how fast time goes . . . and how quickly the days pass without even noticing at times.  I have been busy but what have I been doing?  I will blog more soon . . . miss you all.  Peace
photo found at: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2mPRC1rKp1pswE0qgSuKWTIyRpcgksF5cTffHFrn_PieKduJ2haYuo2EedsaKG8G7noZbpdhV8tZnmEfUKI3Xnbex1c8fFLbstaeNWDIS1tHs4l3hyphenhypheny7qlBwmFYnlwmbXTvMgHIxkL1To/s1600/sunset.jpg

Wrong Side of the Bed . . .

Have you ever had a less than steller day . . . yesterday was my day.  For what ever reason, I was out to lunch.  No, I was just a crazy man.  Ask my kids.  I hope they make it through this crazy thing . . . No, no one had to go to the hospital, but I was frustrated with just about everything.  I just hate days like that.  They seem like such a waste.  Well, off to a new day and a new adventure.  Time to ask forgiveness, and forgive myself.  Peace

Reflection

Reflection
Originally uploaded by ♫muxu

this is a cool photo that I found on flickr . . . have a great day . . . also what are you thinking about today?
Peace

teddy bear eyes

teddy bear eyes
Originally uploaded by SoullooN

yes, It has been too long . . . I have been learning and growing each day. School is over this week. this is a photo from a few weeks ago while I was being crazy in class with my students. I am so blessed and I am thankful for the opportunity I have to love people where they are in life. Have fun today. Peace

Quest for the good life . . .

What is the "Good Life"?  there you go, a short blog . . . help me think it through . . . I will add some of my own thoughts along the way . . .peace

May Day . . .

So today was the first day of May. I am in Pontiac Michigan for the evening. I can not sleep, so here I am on the net at the hotel. I was able to officiate the a wedding for some friends from church. We had a great time. The wedding was good, the fellowship was good, the food was good. The wedding was held at the Lafayette Grande in Pontiac. I guess this place was built some time in the 1920's and was originally a Masonic Temple.

I am so thankful to be able to be part of folks lives along the way. It is amazing to walk through life with other folks. The challenge becomes how do I interact with my wife and kids the way I am able to work with others. I have so much to learn. I want to be a better husband and a much better dad. I am so thankful for my family. Well, that is enough for today which is actually tomorrow. Have fun. Peace

BMW dreaming on a TATA nano budget . . .

Here I am at school today . . . fourth block, a few moments away from going to the gym. Thinking about life a little. I dream of one day owning a BMW. I had the joy of test driving a BMW 530 this past weekend. I also bought my birthday gift - a key ring from BMW. It is nice and I hold my work keys on it. Now on to the real thoughts for the day . . .
Do not create debt . . . no matter what . . . fight hard to pay for things as you go . . . and do not go into health debt either, it is hard work to get out from under the weight.  It seems like I am hyper focused on my weight . . . however it is not the weight I am looking at as much as the road I am currently on in my attempts to downsize.  I know I am on the long road of recovery, and that I accept.  It is a daily reminder to remain on this narrow road.  I must remind myself of the goal that lays ahead, and continue to push towards that goal.  both deal with debt in my life . . . freeing myself from the slaver of financial debt as well as freedom from the weight that holds me down and back.  Well, enough of a rant for today . . . enjoy the moment . . . peace 

Here we are . . .

Here we are . . . Still above 300 lbs, but not by much. I can not believe I have been so out of it this past few weeks. Back to the Gym on monday, and feeling good about that. I want to be below 300 never to look back. I am feeling better from my sickness, still a little weak, but better. I am thankful to be back at school and with the students. Diana and I start facilitating a class tonight at church. I am excited about this opportunity. I got a i touch, and I can download some cool Podcasts. I am thankful to be able to think, and blog. I will write more soon. Peace

On sickness . . .

I hate being sick . . . let me be one of those ones that holler out the obvious . . . I know no one likes to be sick, but I really hate it. I hate the seclusion - me without people is not good. I need folks in my life . . . being a people persons in seclusion is like taking a fish out of water . . . I am finally feeling a little better and for that I am thankful . . . I want to talk to you . . . send me a note or something . . . peace

I get all up . . .

I do not know why this is, but I get all up in the energy and emotions at times about things I can not control . . . it is crazy, and to kick the cow on the way out, things I can control and are my responsibility, i some how allow myself the freedom of not dealing with that issue. Odd, I know, and perplexing at times. It is the old splinter, log in the eye story from the Gospels . . . Why is it that we can see someone else's fault and want to point them out the first moment we can, and we are so long suffering with our own foolishness . . . This is a bummer as I think about the things in my day. Look at it this way, I would like to think that that I am other minded, but all you have to do is drive with me for about five minutes to find out that I do think the world revolves around me. I hate being so selfish, but I am just so dang good at it . . . Have you ever been here? What do you do to combat this feeling? I need a little input . . . peace

100 days of my 365

almost day 100 photo
Originally uploaded by SoullooN

the first 100 days are now in the books. And I am almost 30 lbs less than I once was. I am at the door step of breaking 300 lbs. I can not wait. Taking a step each and every day in order to reach this goal. It has been over two years since I was under 300. I am tired and would love a hug today. However, I am doing well. Ran for the first time on the outdoor track with my boys last night. It was great. Weights and Eliptical right after school, then off to church - to learn about the Kingdom of Heaven . . . I have so much to learn. have a blessed day. Peace

fun . . .

Outtake
Originally uploaded by squeakypeach4

Bring on spring . . . I loved this wonderful photo . . . Peace

I need you . . .

send your love
Originally uploaded by milkysoldier

Believe it or not, i find life when i engage people . . . this photo is how I feel most of the time . . . Peace

try again . . .

I work with students with special needs in a high school . . . I learn some life lessons from them often. Many times these students are overlooked because they do not capture our attention or make the newspaper highlight page. However, I have had the privilege to work with them and get to know them. One of my students says "try again. . ." whenever he makes a mistake or someone else makes a mistake. I do not care who you are, or what you do, that is just good advice. I can not tell you how many times I have let a mistake or a failure sidetrack me, when all I really needed to do was "try again . . ." What in your life is kicking your butt? For me it is my weight and my being an effective dad. I am giving them both all I have, but I have to remind myself often to keep going, and when I do mess up, I now tell myself . . . "try again . . ." Peace

I like this photo . . .

135
Originally uploaded by elsvo (back to 365)

this young lady takes some wonderful photos, and i thought this one was cool. I love the eyes. Enjoy your day . . . it is all you have. Peace

Friends and Readers . . .

Does the fact that someone, even friends, read this blog change the nature of this blog . . . I must say yes! The fact that this blog is public means that I do not let every thought or feeling out fully. Though I do like this medium to push the limits of thought and at times frustration. A friend and I were chatting about the feeling of anonymity that people feel through the Internet. Sometimes folks do not hold back their thoughts and feeling and let all raw thought spew out . . . Look, things you post on the Net are public . . . simple. If I have something that is very private to say . . . or that I need to get off my chest, I share it with my wife, with my God and if you ever come across my personal Journal, you will quickly learn that I am a flawed man in search of of God's grace and mercy. It is amazing to view my life via my private self, my public self and my thoughts written and never mentioned. I also want to note the power this past month has had on my life as a person. I began to move consistently, and it has helped my overall health and fitness on many levels: physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and socially. Every level of my life has changed in some manner . . . what a blessing . . . Where are you on this entire thing of how much you let out to the world. What are you thoughts about private and public self? I love to hear you, I learn from you, be a teacher today . . .

I came across a friends facebook with this wonderful quote: "choosing one path means abandoning others- if you try to follow every possible path you will end up following none." Paulo Coelho

I like the overall thought of this quote . . . It is amazing the amount of options most of us have with the gift we call life. This life is short, very short . . . What are we going to do with this gift? Enjoy your day today. I am praying for you. Shoot me a line . . . Let me know if you have any thoughts or topics you would like me to address . . . Peace

Colossians 3 . . .

I had the joy of reading this section of Scripture from the message bible . . . I thought I would share it with you here today . . .

Colossians 3

"1-2 So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.
3-4Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.
5-8And that means killing off everything connected with that way of death: sexual promiscuity, impurity, lust, doing whatever you feel like whenever you feel like it, and grabbing whatever attracts your fancy. That's a life shaped by things and feelings instead of by God. It's because of this kind of thing that God is about to explode in anger. It wasn't long ago that you were doing all that stuff and not knowing any better. But you know better now, so make sure it's all gone for good: bad temper, irritability, meanness, profanity, dirty talk.
9-11Don't lie to one another. You're done with that old life. It's like a filthy set of ill-fitting clothes you've stripped off and put in the fire. Now you're dressed in a new wardrobe. Every item of your new way of life is custom-made by the Creator, with his label on it. All the old fashions are now obsolete. Words like Jewish and non-Jewish, religious and irreligious, insider and outsider, uncivilized and uncouth, slave and free, mean nothing. From now on everyone is defined by Christ, everyone is included in Christ.
12-14So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It's your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
15-17Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.
18Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master.
19Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don't take advantage of them.
20Children, do what your parents tell you. This delights the Master no end.
21Parents, don't come down too hard on your children or you'll crush their spirits.
22-25Servants, do what you're told by your earthly masters. And don't just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you'll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you're serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn't cover up bad work. "

(Peterson, Eugene H. The Message : The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, Colo.: NavPress, 2003.)

Have a wonderful day . . . Peace

On a long road of recovery . . .

Have you ever been lost? Think with me about all the things you were thinking . . . what did you feel? What do you remember seeing? Being lost is not fun, but it is a learning experience on many different levels . . . But what happens when you get lost in life? What do you do? Where do you turn? I must tell you that somewhere along the way I got lost in life. Yes, you did read it here first. Look at me, I am 43 years old . . . and overweight . . . OK, now you see where I am going. I just spent a month of my life changing the things I have been doing and doing new things . . . I am working out on a regular basis at Planet Fitness. I am making decisions not to eat things I would have eaten. I am going to bed and getting an adequate amount of sleep. I got lost somewhere along the 22nd or 23rd year of my life . . . shortly after I was married. When I got married I weighed 175 lbs. or so . . . I woke up when I went to play the Wii with my family . . . I weighed 332.7 lbs. How did this happen? I got lost is an easy way to express it to you. Now I am on the long road to lose the weight and all the stuff that has allowed me to get where I am. My weight is an outward result of faulty inward thoughts. Yes, I did stop working out and moving along the way as well. For the month of January my first goal was to begin moving consistently and thinking more positively. What a wonderful month of movement and better feelings . . . and 12 lbs of weight loss. I am on the long road, and I want to see the big picture. My long range goal is to be between 200 and 220 lbs, but beyond the weight I want to be kinder to me, allow myself the freedom to be human. I know this is a ramble of thoughts. What are you working on in you life? What are the things that are challenging you in this moment? What parts of your situation can you control? Have a wonderful day. Peace

Good Morning . . .

It is so wonderful to be alive today . . . It is amazing what a little sun in ones day can produce . . . I read a wonderful quote from a friend on FB . . . Here it goes - "As long as we're NOT talking about it, let me just say that I can't understand why I stay up late when I know I have class in the morning and I looooove sleep and when I wake up I'm like, "why did i stay up late?"." I know how my friends feels. I love sleep and feel better when I sleep well, but I stay up too late to get up early for work . . . To go to bed earlier would be a wonderful thing . . . What do you do on the sleep thing??? What does my friends quote make you feel or think? The real issue for me is what will I do . . . Will I go to bed sooner so I get more sleep?? I will, I tell you go to bed sooner and get more sleep . . . Peace

January 21, 2010

Today, I am here at school for a few moments. It has been a quiet semester. Worked with a student on a snow blower Engine rebuild. The semester is winding down, and a new more active semester will begin. I have been working out for the past three weeks, and it is beginning to show in many ways in my life. I feel better, I sleep better, I am learning to eat better. I am becoming better. It is a blessing. I am teaching a class at church called "Husbands Challenge". the men have been wonderful, and I am learning and growing along with them . . . My son turned 11 this past week. Also had fun attending the Detroit auto show with my boys. Well, what do you want to know? Ask me a question and I will try to share my thoughts . . . Peace

(photo free at Auto Show - sponsor by SF, this is not and endorsement)

Is anyone out there ? ? ?

You know, I enjoy this blog thing for the sake of the blog. I know I ramble and at times may never actually get to a point. But is there anyone out there reading my crazy ramblings?

Today, I am thankful for the workout I was able to put in last night. Plant Fitness is my gym, and it was busy last night. My entire body hurts today, but in a good way, and in about 2 hours I will be enjoying a massage and a crack up from my chiropractor. I am blessed and I am thankful. I have a touch of a headache, it may be that blood is actually getting to places in my brain it has not been in a long time. I know this information will be hard to understand, but here is the quick story . . .

I left High School in 1984 weighing 145 lbs. That was a while ago. I went to college and gained some weight and muscle and weighed 165 lbs. When I got married in 1988 I think I weighed somewhere around 175 lbs. or 180 lbs. For what ever reason, I began to gain weight over the next 21 years and topped off at 332.7 lbs. the last day of 2009. I was kicked out of my Wii Fitness Gym for being over weight. I do not know why I did not wake up until today. I did try to lose weight along the way, one time getting as low as 245 lbs. What a wonderful feeling. Now almost 100 lbs beyond my last low weight, I am ready to change me, and the way I live, think, and eat. I have been going to the Gym ever other day and working out. I now have to begin to focus on the amount and kinds of food I take in as well. I have a 2 year goal to be near 200 lbs. I am going to take this trip slow, and allow my body to work together with my mind and heart to move from Obese back to normal. It has been so long since I have been a healthy weight, I wonder what it will be like. I am keeping my eye on the big prize as well as chunking the task into little bite size bits. Here you go . . . one little goal was to be let back into the Wii Fit Gym, I was able to do a body test the other day. I was right at the limit of 330, but it let me play. I have the goal of fitting back into my wedding band. I have not attempted it yet, but I look forward to that being a soon to be reality story. Then it is back on with my college ring. I decided in stead of me resizing my rings, I would try to re-size me. I thought that would be a better option. Also, my daughter Nikki wrote me a note asking me to lose weight, she was afraid that I would not live to be able to walk her down the Isle, that may still be an issue. I have been battling this issue for the past 20 years. I also want to be 270 lbs by this May. I have some wedding to do this summer, and I would like have a better package to present. The task is a huge one, but I need to step up to the plate while I can still step up. My over all goal is to lose 115 lbs. I believe this will take me 2 years. I have much work in my future, but discipline will not be pleasant while I am going through it, but the benefits will out way the investment. I believe this, and will begin to act and behave upon my beliefs. Thank you for your time. Have a great day. Peace

It is cold outside . . .

It has been cold out here in the mitten state . . . I know it is colder other places around the world, but I do not live other places . . . I live here. How do you learn to see things from someone else's perspective, when you life in your body? It seems like I can only see things from my perspective. It appears selfish as I type this though out into words. I am not saying I can not place myself into someone else's shoes, but I still see what ever the situation is from my perspective and life experiences . . . I come preloaded with my own set of ideas about life and views of how things are, that is what I mean by my perspective. I have a desire to become a better listener. There is a discipline for you. I have heard it said we have been given two ears and one mouth, so we should learn to listen twice as much as we speak. I want to be an active listener . . . I seek to understand what is being said. Now on to more fun . . . Marriage is like no other relationship in the world. First for me it starts with the Commitment for life, no not a life sentence, but a relationship that last a lifetime. That is where I hope to be. It is a relationship of exclusion or it should be none the less, hence the rise of Cheaters on the TV. There is no other relationship quite like it, unless you practice in polygamy, then that is a totally different blog. But really, what other relationship is bound by so many energies that press in on it? Think of it like this . . . when you go to work, there may be people you do not like or want to be with, but it is only for a few hours a week. And yes, you keep your cool even when you may want to punch them out. But look at this, when you are in a life long relationship, things have a tendency to build up, carry over and become part of everything. So when you may be talking, there is all this history that is always there. Thing said or done in the past that may or may not really relate to what is going on today. They may be past hurts, resentments, angers or what ever. Marriage is work. Listening is work. Listening without carrying any thing from the past takes work. I want to work to become a better man, husband, dad, employee, or what ever I do . . . OK, I am thankful for your time. Have a wonderful day. Peace . . .

photo found at: http://www.kaushik.net/avinash/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/listening.jpg

What, seven days in already???

The year 2010 is already seven days old . . . it is amazing how fast time is moving along. You know what I just realized . . . I talk about time a lot. I am a moment by moment man, but it is a topic I seem to look at often. I start my journal always with "Today . . ." I have never been a person that lived for . . . whatever, lets say the weekend, or the big trip, or Christmas, or this or that party. It is always a party during this moment inside my soul. OK, yes, there are times when I am sad, and yes I do struggle with depression at times. Why, I do not know. And yes there are times when I wish I did not have to do whatever it is I am having to do. But for the most part, I have been able to enjoy most of my days, and for that I count myself as blessed. Could the circumstances change? Circumstances always change, i just hope that the joy I feel inside never leaves.

You know what I just learned? I have a hard time staying on one topic. I am a rambler and a rabbit trail chaser. I am good with that, if you ever begin to follow my blog, I wonder if you will be OK with my style. Wait, I have a style . . . The ramble style. That is my style. One thing I am thinking triggers another thought and off I go spinning like a top.

What do I want to say today . . .

• I had to send my camera in for warranty repair. I miss my camera already


• I am getting a hair cut today, maybe a blond Mohawk is in my future . . .


• It is snowing . . .


• I want to redeem today . . . and make it count.


• I plan on working out with my son for the first time in our home Gym.


• I am blessed by my wonderful wife . . . and family . . .


• I am working on my Wreck This Journal . . .

Well, it is just me today . . . Enjoy today and this moment and have fun. Read Proverbs if you get a chance and enjoy . . .

Peace

Balloon

Balloon
Originally uploaded by maryegreene

I want to thank maryegreene for the premission to use her wonderful balloon photo as the background on my blog. Thank you for sharing this wonderful photo with us. Have a wonderful day. Peace

Back to school . . .

We are back to school today, what a wonderful thing. I like the routine-ness of it all. Wake up, go to school, eat lunch, drive home, hang out with the family, eat dinner, go to bed . . . It is nice, epically the bed part, I love my bed, and the down comforter, o me o my . . . it is so warm and snugglely, yes, I did say snugglely, you got a problem with that, I am still the Man . . .

But on to the new day that is today. The first day of school for this new DECADE . . . What does it mean? for some it is amazing, for others like myself it is something noteworthy to comtemplate. What does this decade hold? Will we see the end of the world? (2012) Will we see an end to world hunger? Will we find a cure for aids? Will we find peace in the Middle East? Will we realize the dream of renewable energy?

On a personal note, this next 10 years, if I live every one of them . . . should hold Three children graduating from High School - - - Maybe all three Graduating from College . . . Possible weddings, and I am sure a few funerals. Maybe some Grandchildren, but not in a rush for that one. I enter the decade as a 43 year old man, I will end it as a 53 year old man . . . Wow, that is perspective giving. My hair is going grey by the day, and I hope to still have hair. My Wife Diana and I will celebrate our 25th and 30th wedding anniversary during this time . . . I would like to see my debt diminish, and I have already begun to take the steps to make that happen. I also want to see my waist line decrease, and I have begun working on that as well . . . Wow, it is amazing to future cast, or to forward look, but actually, I only have this moment. I want to make this moment count . . . in my life, in the lives of my family and those whom God has allowed in my life, friend and foe . . .

On to books, I am currently reading a book called "The Education of Little Tree" it is a story of a young Indian boy growing up with his grandparents during the depression in the mountains of Kentucky. I pick up the book because my nick name, or name given to me by my aunt, whom I consider, wise and wonderful is "Little Tree". I have enjoyed this story and will finish it today. I would encourage you to pick it up and enjoy the read from the perspective of a young Indian boy . . .

Well, I will post again and welcome to the new year and new decade . . . enjoy your moment that is now. Yes, tell those you love that you love them, hug them often, express what important people mean to you to them while you can. Also pray for your enemy and do go to those who are your foe . . . Peace

Day 26 . . .

Day 26 . . .
Originally uploaded by SoullooN

Hello 01-01-10 . . . and welcome to life. I am taking each day as a new day of this new decade and new year. I am ready to take in deep of each moment along the way. This is another new beginning . . . Peace