Return to share some thoughts . . .

Hello out there.  I know it has been several years since my last blog.  Many things have happened in the years since.  Today, I blog as a growing human.  I have been battling with anxiety and depression since December 2019.  I have been to see many doctors.  I have prayed and sought the Lord for help, encouragement, and deliverance.  I am still in the struggle currently as I share these words with you.  I want you to know . . .  I LOVE LIFE!  I am a outgoing man and I love people.  So, these past few months have been extremely difficult.  I also want you to know that this is not my first time on the merry go round of mental health.

I do not tell you this to bring you down.  I share this with you to let you know that I am struggling.  I know that there will be a transition from this challenge back to a normal life.  I long for being back to myself.  I have not felt like me for several months.  I have been ask many times, by many people, what does it me to be you?  I am a happy man.  I love to laugh, have fun and encourage people.  I am a blessed man with an amazing life.  I have a beautiful family.  My kids Rock.  My wife is so amazing.  We celebrated 32 years of marriage on July 9th.  Wow, how does time go so fast.  It seems like the days along the way were long, but the years have been short.  I know that my thoughts are all over the place, this is the current state of my thoughts.  I have so much to say and want to share, but it is a scattered mess in my mind.  Some may ask, hey, why blog this?  I want people who know me to know that I am an ordinary man, and I am struggling.  I also want those who may also struggle to know they are not alone.  Many days on this current journey, I have felt alone.  I am blessed with a strong support group.  I am blessed with a great family and friends who love me and encourage me.  I am asking God to continue to walk with me through this valley and as we come out the other side to be able to bless others.  I know this time of struggle and tears will not be wasted.  Thank you for hearing my heart.  Know I love you and I am praying for you.  Reach out if you have questions or desire to chat.  Peace,  Tim

(an old photo)

Happy Friday to you . . . I love each and every moment of life.  I am thankful to be here and I am ever so thankful it is spring.  HI.

Happy to be back

hello. I am happy to be back. I have to get my blogger legs under me again and learn how to manipulate this space. I am currently writing from my phone. I am grateful for that, but I am missing some things along the way by not being on my computer. I still have to learn how to add photos from this platform.  I tried, however it will not allow me to add one here yet. I will continue to learn and grow as I move along.

Peace

Guess who is back.

It has taken me a few days to find my old log in info. But I am back and happy to be able to blog again. I like posting new stuff. First. In a few days I will turn 52 years old. Wow. Old and young all at the same time. Also, Diana and I will be married 30 years on July 9. 2018. Amazing. Time is a movement. It is going fast. I am doing my best to celebrate each and every moment. I will be in again soon. From a computer so I can add photos and share life. Peace

I have an appointment!

Today . . . Good morning friends.  Yes, I have a strong desire to begin sharing my thought about life.  I heard a story today that I did not expected to hear.  This story is driving the context of my thoughts at this moment.  I want each reader to know that I am going to DIE. Yes, I know . . . It is the last book on my personal thought shelf. The thing right before death on the same shelf, is my student loan. I keep those two together and live like they are not part of my reality.  Many people call this process DENIAL.  So, now that I have uncovered death, and my relationship with our imminent appointment.  Now, my intention is not driven to be morbid, but to recognize that this date could happen at any moment.  With this reality in mind, I pose this simple question.  Please, in all seriousness, say my name.  Timothy Stotler.  That is the name given to me at my birth 50+ years ago.  When you say my name, is there any tinge of thought to the negative?  Have I hurt you, offended you, or need to make amends with you?  I know that I have wronged people in my lifetime, I have done my best to walk in restoration with those in my life.  It is my hope to finish life well, with all debts forgiven and no wrong unaccounted for, within reason.  Please, if you find a stone unturned in regard to this post, please contact me at 248-444-9825 or at tidi23@juno.com and allow me an opportunity to apologize. Please do not wait until it is too late.  Here are a few verses that are driving my thoughts . . .

“A good name is to be more desired than great wealth, Favor is better than silver and gold.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭22:1‬ ‭NASB‬‬

“A good name is better than a good ointment, And the day of one's death is better than the day of one's birth.”
‭‭Ecclesiastes‬ ‭7:1‬ ‭NASB‬‬

“Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away.”
‭‭James‬ ‭4:14‬ ‭NASB‬‬

“And inasmuch as it is appointed for men to die once and after this comes judgment, so Christ also, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time for salvation without reference to sin, to those who eagerly await Him.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭9:27-28‬ ‭NASB‬‬

With the thoughts contained in the above verses, I ask you to consider my relationship with you.  Beyond our relationship, I ask you to allow the Holy Spirit to do the amazing work he does in your heart, mind and soul in regard to other relationships.  You know the ones.  Yep, the ones you are pushing out of your mind at the mere mention of this type of topic.  Listen to the spirit, and make the necessary moves.

“Therefore if you are presenting your offering at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and present your offering.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭5:23-24‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Listen . . .do not wait.  Make things right as much as possible. Enjoy your today.  And know, I am blessed because you have been part of my life story.

Peace

50 and back . . .

Hello to each of you. I have been away way too long.  I had to find my log on again.  I am going to be making adjustments to my blog in the near future.  I invite you back to see what is happening. . .

a soon return, I hope

I do so want to return to blogging again . . . I hope to return soon.  Peace

Alive

happy to be alive today.

I am blessed

I have not posted in some time. Here is my post. I love life.

My life today . . .

Today is a new wonderful day.  I am 48 years young. I can not believe it has been so much time since my last post.  I am so thankful to celebrate life.  I will post more soon.

Things worth battling over . . .

Today is a happy wonderful November 1st.  The weather outside is strange, and my knee is making sure I know that I am still alive.  My friend is leaving for California today and I am excited for what this journey holds for her.  I love my job, and it is to love and assist students.  Yes, at times i do get aggravated as I am also sure that I aggravate.  So it is with all this in my mind that I share my thoughts here with you today.  I love life, and I am blessed.  I am grateful for the moments that I share here and in the world in which I live.  I am beyond blessed and thankful.  Take a moment today and share with someone you love how thankful you are for them in your life.  Peace

Knee Surgery

Yep, you read that correctly. I have to have a little operation on the 17th of this month to repair my meniscus. My knee is in mucho pain right now. I will be thankful and hopeful for my healing. I am four days into a sloth killing crusade in my life. Slothfulness is my enemy, and it does not assist my family in any way. I long to weigh less than I do today. I want to gain my health back. Peace. 

Too long

Hello whoever reads my blog. I am alive and well. I am enjoying this lovely moment. Lunch time is a refreshing time. Slept well yesterday and well on my way to slay the dragon Sloth in my life. See you'll real soon. 

Happy 520

Friday, May 5 th

I am here today enjoying this moment fully. I began a trip down the weight loss road. I am so ready to be me again. That may sound strange but for me I feel trapped in this large body I surrounded around myself. Here is to new life.

A blur

The past few days have been a blur. Diana and I were on our way to the west side of Michigan for a wedding. We made it to Grand Haven and stopped to change. While we were changing we received a call from Diana's sister saying her mom Doris was on her way to the hospital un responsive. We were able to view the wedding. The wedding was amazing. Shortly after the wedding my wife received a second call from her sister. Doris Alonso my wife's mom had a major stroke and there was an uncontrolled bleed in her brain that surgery would it fix. She would not make it much longer. Diana and I left the wedding to head home and inform our children. This was a difficult ride and telling each of our children was hard. We were able to book a flight for Diana on Sunday. The kids and I got on the road at 5 pm that same evening. My mother in law passed from this life to the next near 3:00 pm on Sunday. We drone to Lexington Kentucky. Spent the night. Woke up and returned to the road at 8am Monday. Made it to plant city by 11:30 pm. Nikki drove the final two hour of the trip. I was spent and exhausted. I am still very tired as I finish writing this note. Pleas pray for our family. Death is difficult no matter when it comes. Peace.

Out with my Family

I do not remember my attitude when I was a teenager. How rude and selfish was I? Being a parent is the most amazing and challenging Job that I have ever had to date. Why does it seem that hurt is the objective. I do not know how to deal with the rude and mean spirit that exudes from on of my children. I am about done with the battle. I do have to say I enjoy being with myself. I believe I am kind and loving to myself. I have much to learn. Peace

Tears fill my eyes . . .

Out with my boys to visit my mom and stopped by White Castles. The tears come to my eyes because a memory of my sons treating each other poorly over some French fries we had in a McDonald's in Alabama. To save money I was not able to buy each kid fries. I asked one son to share fries with the other kid and he threw a fry in anger to the other son. I was so full of anger at this foolishness. Then today I asked the son who was treated badly to give his fries to his brother and he did. This was a much different experience. My mind is flooded at times by my mess ups. I know I have done well as a parent at times. I also know I have failed miserably. It is my hope that I continue to learn.
Peace.

Just Before

I am here at Brightmoor Christian Church. I arrived early. I am thankful to be here today. I am in anticipation of whatever God will teach me. On the way in today the Christian radio played a song about forgiveness and how it ultimately frees the person who is angry. I need to apply a lot of forgiveness. I am so sad by an ongoing wrong in my life. How do you forgive something that is not going to change once you move from hurt to forgiveness?i long for fulfillment and realization of a life long dream. I just do not know. Emotionally raw, spiritually broken, and kinda lost in some ways. Lord, I believe, help my unbelief. I know this makes sense to no one but my creator and myself. I only ask that you say a prayer for me that I will trust God and walk in obedience. I must make a choice to live rightly before God. I have a need to live this way. I am at the same time hurt, frustrated, and angry. I do not care for these sad feelings. I tend to be a happy person. But this cloud of sadness has been in my life for many years. Wow, I am glad that is out of me. Peace.

Balloon Launch gone Bad

I decided to release some foil balloons into the night air. They caught the wind and blew directly into the power lines at the pole. Foil balloons and power lines go together like fire and gasoline. All I could see is having to explain to my neighbors why we are now out of power. I thought about it for about an hour, hoping the wind would blow them free. They were still stuck on the pole. So, I decided that a 15 ft fiberglass cane fishing pole, a razor, some duck tape and a six foot ladder. Possibly not the brightest decision I have ever made. So out I went to cut the balloons off the power line before they short out the entire pole. Well, I am writing this, so it worked and I did not die. To live, love, and enjoy another day. Peace