I am just a simple man. I am ordinary. What is so special about being ordinary? I often wonder will I ever be extraordinary, or as one person put it "top drawer". I love the people that are top drawer don't get me wrong. But why do we place so much emphasis on the top drawer. I see myself as another drawer. Lets say there is an entire chest of drawers. I am like the third or fourth drawer. I am just average. I am OK with average. I have no problem with who I am. OK, well maybe I have not made full peace with being average. I am a deep person, with many thoughts and concerns. I see value in being the best average person I can be. I want to be extraordinarily average. Would that make me something different? I do not know how to resolve these thoughts in my head. I know "welcome to my head" . I am 42 years old. I am in a tight place in life, but I am at peace. I am thankful to be learning and growing even in this new place. Married 20 years, kids, house, dog, cars. I just do not know. What am I? Who am I? Am I who I am suppose to be? Why am I? I know, too many questions. I am not in a mode of pity or "oh me", I am just - I do not know - not lost but not sure. Does that make sense? The possibility of Peace in the midst of, I just do not know. I long to belong. I long to know why I am me. It is odd. Well, how do you end this type of thing? I love me, I love life, I love God and am thankful that He loves me. I am loved by others. I am blessed. Wow, who knew this is in me? Peace
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