Amazement in today . . .

I am here in English class listening to Romeo and Juliet. The story is interesting and moving all at the same time. Today, we heard the anger of Juliet's father. I do not like my own anger and rage. Anger in rage does not build up - it destroys. The destruction affects everyone in many different ways. The greatest devastation though I find in my own soul. I loathe my own anger and rage. I long for the day when anger no longer rules places in my heart. I long for the freedom that is found in forgiveness.
I am thankful for the moment that is now! I do so enjoy my life and my work. I am blessed with a wonderful wife and three lovely children. I am able to live in a nice house, and we share our space also with a little dog. What a amazing story.
I must tell the truth here today, life is difficult. Many times more difficult than it needs to be. Why do we as humans make some things so much more complicated than they have to be? It seems we chose the most difficult road to get through some of life's challenges. I will also say that this blog may only be my life story. I am not saying that this tells your life story.
When I was a young man I was a dreamer. I longed to love and be loves. I was a hopeless romantic. I am now 46 years old and time has caused my light and hope to dim. I am sad by this realization. I still long for many things, however, it seems that each day takes me one step farther from my dream. How do you explain this loss? How does one deal with something that could be and should be realized during said lifetime? I am at a loss! I am stumped by this reality. However, even in this, I am thankful. I am blessed. I do in no way take my lot in life for granite. I am grateful to God my creator for the way he has made me and where he has placed me. I am a happy man. I am a blessed man. I am a thankful man. I am also a deep man. I am a man of few sorrows. However, the sorrow that I carry is deep and to the core of my being. I do no allow my sorrow to determine who I am and at the same time it dominates the very fiber of my being. I carry about in my body a curable sorrow that is not being cured.
Having said all the mess above I want you to know that I am built to be an exhorter. The spiritual gift of exhortation is:
to come along side of someone with words of encouragement, comfort, consolation, and counsel to help them be all God wants them to be.
I at the same time want to be all God wants me to be. At times I am most encouraged in life and as a person when I am able to love and walk with others through the challenges of life. I do have HOPE! I do believe that one day my sorrow will be turned into JOY. I want all to know that I choose happiness even in the midst of my sorrow. It is, at times, a quite strange combination.
I am praying for you today. If your eyes find this blog I may never know. I pray that you will know Jesus. He is amazing! Peace