rushing waters . . .

my mind at time is like water flowing in a river . . . when life rains hard, the water rises and rushes by, when things are dry, the water flows like a slow trickle . . . most days though the water is just doing as it does normally . . . moving through at a lazy pace . . . it seems as though my emotions also play a role in the rushing of the waters in my mind and heart . . . when I am up, things are hoping . . . when I am down, things are dragging.   when i am angry, do not get near, you may be swept under, when I am dry, it is no fun to try to swim . . . a lot of thought all to say . . . i do not like to be an angry man . . . i am so patient with those i do not know and so easily frustrated by those closest to me.  why? it just does not make sense.  i love my life, i love my family, i love my kids . . . but many times in the course of a week, i am short, course and angry over little things . . . where does this come from?  i do not fully understand me and my own actions at times.  i like the me that is so likable, and i want to become a better likable me . . . i want to have a positive influence on my wife and kids . . . life is already full of burdens, i do not want to become another burden on them.  i want o encourage them, love them and lead them as a good man would.  i pray for peace and patience with my family . . . peace