What will it take ? ? ?

Things are changing all around us. My job at the school may one day change. Actually, in the near future it will change. We will move from a 4 block day to a 6 period day, or something like that. That is change and it will have an impact on the way I interact with my world. Our State and Country are in an economic struggle, and things will change for everyone in the coming days. I also need a change in my own soul. I want to find my reliance and resilience upon God. When the world around it going crazy, I know that God is in control and knows what is going on. It is not the first time He has seen our country or many other countries in upheaval. What will it take for me to TRUST him fully? Peace

Things lost, and things found . . .

I have a story, just like my friend Krista . . . I had a Krazy day planned yesterday. I went with my wonderful kids and the other teachers at school to a day long party for special students at the Crisler Arena of the University of Michigan. We had a great time and met some of the student athletes. On a regular day in class, it seems to trickle by and we do the things we do with out the added pressure of being in an unknown space. I could not believe how incredibly tired I was after spending the day with the students.

Okay, now on to the similarity with my friend. When I arrived at school, I realised that I had left my day timer at home, that is my wallet. So I did what any responsible man would do, I called my wife and put on that crazy man voice and begged her to bring it to me. She is so sweet and such an enabler to my irresponsibility. I am blessed that she does not read my blogs. However, when she arrived at school, I must ad, that she also brought me a McDonald's Biscuit, when I picked up my day timer, it did not feel right. My license and photos and social security card were no longer in the space where they usually are. I felt it was not right, and the first words out of my mouth were, "something is not right". We took a quick look around her car and did not see them. I thought they must be back at home. So I thought about it a lot, retracing my steps along the previous day. Then when I got home, looked around and no license. I hate misplacing things, especially important things like a license. So I began to call the places I went to the previous day. I called my son's school, no luck. I called my church, no answer. No one works of Friday. I love that church. I went to the places I had been an looked in the parking lots, walked where I walked went into the rooms where i had been. No luck. Now mind you my anxiety is on the rise, thinking about all I had to do to make up for my loss. I must add that about 6 months ago I lost my pocket knife. I thought I had lent it or left it somewhere by an out of the ordinary accident. I can feel my pants and know weather everything is in its place by the weight and feel against my body. I know weird, but that is okay. Well, in my zealous search for my license, I decided to take the back seat out of my car, just in case it fell into the seat. It had not, but I did find my long lost friend, my pocket knife, and for the life of me, I do not know how it got into the back seat, because I am never in the back seat, and my pocket knife is always in my pocket. I can only think that I gave it to one of my kids to use for something and they set it on the seat and it found its way under the seat. O, I almost forgot to tell you the reason that I looked in the back seat. I had placed my day timer in the back seat so my daughter could ride in the front seat with me. So that is what started the mini destruction of my rear seat. I looked ever where I knew to look, then offered my kids a $10 reward to the first kid who found it. That search lasted for about 10 minutes. I called my wife, now at 5 pm, who was super busy after a super busy week and asked her to look her car over. Thinking it may have slid out of my day timer when she brought it to me at 8 am that morning. She called me some time around 6 pm to say, hey I found it in the car. (Do I owe her the $10, even though she did not know about the offer) I told her thank you for searching and finding it. I also, if you can believe this, told her I would drive across town to pick it up from her. I did not do that seeing she would be home in little over an hour. Well, this is my funny little story about things lost and things found. Peace

The Sun is rising again . . .

Wow, what a crazy thing. Live has a way of pressing in and squeesing hard. I am thankful to be a few steps beyond my last blog. I am sorry that I pooped out such a downer blog. I love live, I am a beyond blessed man. And above all I love to bring joy and blessing to others. I thank you for a brief moment of struggle on this thing. Peace

Dazed and Confused . . .

Have you ever been fighting a fight that was not winnable? The question then becomes why fight. Why do you struggle in a war that is not winnable. You know it actually damages the one who is fighting. I know that none of this makes any sense. I am in a place in my life where things just do not make sense. You would think that a college educated 43 year old dude would be able to make sense out of life by now. I am half way through this thing called physical life, and I am closer to that final resting place. I know kinda a downer. Sorry. I am alive, and I want to experience life fully, though at times I am just down, and weighted down. I want to free my mind and my heart. I want to be up and lite feeling again. I miss the happy side of life, and the energy giving activities that life brings our way. I must admit that I feel kinda lost right now. I know I am not alone in this feeling, but it is an unnerving feeling none the less. I might say that I am depressed, but that is not what I am. I am something other than that . . . Something I can not quite place my finger on . . . I am something other, something else. Lost is a good word, not in a theological sense of the word, but in an all encompassing earthly way. I desire things I can not have or attain, and this has caused me an internal pain that has placed my life and desires into a tail spin. I can not free my mind and heart of this desire, and I can not break free. I need freedom from myself, from my own struggles. I need freedom from my own desires. I am growing tired of the fight . . . I want to know rest, or I want to know satisfaction . . . I want, but I do not have . . . Peace

Natural Light

Natural Light
Originally uploaded by Penseye

I want to be there today . . . I need to get a way, get the car, I must needs go now . . .

My Birthday Balloons . . .

Balloons outside, originally uploaded by SoullooN.

Greetings. I do like flickr and I have meet some wonderful folks there. If you do not know I think balloons are wonderful and fun. It was my 43rd b-day just a few days ago and my wife had a little party for me at school. These are the balloons from my party at my home outside. I hope you are having a wonderful day. Peace

How do you let go ? ? ?

Day23-03.15.09
Originally uploaded by iStill...

Life has a way of sneaking up on you at times. Things happen, and we move through the day and seem to exhist. Sometimes there are things we hold on to that keep us down, or held back. What am I holding onto - a grudge, a resentment, a job, a hope, what could it be. Sometimes I think I trust God, but what kind of trust does it take to let go and trust him? I think about the folks in the bible that trusted God. Look at Noah, no lake, but trusted enough to build a big boat. I think about Abraham, and Issac going to the mountian to sacrifice, what kind of faith did Ab have to trust that God would provide. just some thought for me, and possibly you. Peace

Today, I am 43 . . .

I am 43 years old today. I am amazed. We had a wonderful party at my school with some of my friends and students. My wife Diana is such a wonderful lady. She brought cake, pizza and balloons to my party. I am tired today, and I still have to work at Busch's for a short time. I am planning on eating at Gus O'Connor's here in Novi for a little Irish fun. My wife will be gone for the weekend at a meeting. So tonight is the only party night for us. I will write more later, and add some photos. Peace

lisa's green balloon

lisa's green balloon
Originally uploaded by Lisa sParks

i like the color green, and spring is just around the corner . . . Come on Green . . . Peace

Raw . . .

Woke up today, feeling a little heavy. You know, life is not always about roses, but I love the roses most. Blue, waiting for winter the break into spring . . . It is just around the corner. School is going well, the kids are wonderful. I am blessed beyond belief when I sit down and consider all that is . . . Blue none the less, it just does not add up correctly . . . I seek understanding and direction, and I will remain faithful as I seek . . . Peace

Balloons

Balloons
Originally uploaded by paulmonkeypaul

have a very happy day today. . . Peace

Good morning world . . .

Refreshing sleep, warm shower, clean clothing - what a blessing. The ground is covered in frost from a cold night, the car is warming up in the driveway. Church is planned and greeting will soon begin. Thoughts of friends and family bring joy to my life. A Saturday spent with Diana was as refreshing as a cup of water on a warm day. I trust you are well. I think of you all often. Peace